Don't Be A Doormat!

Ah, the doormat advice. I cannot recall how many times I have heard these wise words spoken from trusted allies. I fully acknowledge that their advice is constructive, albeit a little forward. After all, my loved ones are looking out for my well-being. We should all be so blessed. However, I have a slightly different perspective on the word doormat and the meaning associated. You see, I don’t have any doormats in my home. I have welcome mats, and plenty of them.  

Yes, I am a welcome mat. I enjoy people. I welcome people in. And for the most part, people have good intentions. Most often they bring something with them when they visit; something that we both can enjoy. And sometimes it’s just nice to do a good deed and help someone temporarily in need of shelter. This often becomes more of a blessing to me anyway so I still walk away with something wonderful.

Granted occasionally someone wipes their feet on my welcome mat and leaves a mess behind. In which case I dust it off and move on. Hey, a welcome mat is destined to accumulate some grime. It goes with the territory. And yes sometimes I have to decide when it’s time to stop answering the door. That goes with the territory as well.

But here’s my take on it. Everyone that comes through my door teaches me something and I always grow from the experience; good or bad. So, to pull the welcome mat because of a little mud is not worth it. Think of how much I’d miss out on.

Let Your Freak Flag Fly

A friend and I were having one of our many daily conversations. I can’t remember what we were discussing. But that’s not the point of the story. During our chat, she turned to me and said “go ahead and let your freak flag fly.” I love that…let your freak flag fly!

As the night progressed, I thought about my freak flag and it dawned on me that not only do I never fly my freak flag, I don’t even think I have a freak flag. Perhaps I used to have one back in the days before I became so consumed with responsibility. One thing is for sure, if I ever had a freak flag, it is now residing in some abandoned closet wearing two decades of dust. But that’s not the point of this story either.

So, what exactly is a freak flag? I had no clue. So, I did what anyone would do after contemplating for a whole night about his or her freak flag. I googled it. Turns out I was way off on my comprehension of a freak flag.

A freak flag is what makes you unique. Your freak flag is your self-awareness and flying it is a statement that you are putting yourself out there. You are extending your talents, gifts and persona to the world. A person must be strong and self-assured to fly his or her freak flag.

Suddenly I envisioned my friend's freak flag. Her flag is amazing! She’s strong, compassionate and fierce. She’s creative, intelligent and bold. She has no idea of her strength but I can testify that I have seen her battle Goliath face to face and triumph. She proudly displays her freak flag. She is who she is.

When she was diagnosed with cancer she shaved her head before the chemo stole her hair from her. She started wearing beautiful scarves that defined her bohemian style to perfection. You see, she embraced the transformation and she wore it boldly.

She’s an artist. She’s constantly inspired by colors, textures and designs. She has an inner drive to create. She invited me to one of her vision board workshops and through her leading I learned so much about myself that I never before recognized. The experience was truly insightful.

Thinking about my friend makes me re-evaluate my own freak flag. Do I have a freak flag? Of course I do. I recognize my strengths and my talents. I am who I am, like it or not. Now, am I confident enough to boldly fly my freak flag in front of all humanity?

Life is too short not to embrace those attributes that set us apart from the crowd. We all have different gifts. We have various shades of deviance. We are all extraordinary in some way. Many of you may already have your freak flag hoisted high. But for those of us who are a little less valiant, let us fearlessly proclaim our distinctions and let our freak flags soar.