Thursday, July 31, 2014

A Virtual Party



Most of us do it. You do. I do it. We all do it. We want it. We need it. We crave it! Some of us do it weekly. Some do it daily. Some do it 24/7. The addiction is without comparison to anything else we’ve ever experienced. Come what may, we simply must connect!

Social networking is a phenomenon cultivated from two forces, people’s innate desire to connect and the technological means to do so. Granted there are other forces at play but the main two involve our need to know what’s going on and our ability to power up and find out. Social networks differ, each with its own purpose, rules and audience; ranging from professional networking to a virtual party. So, let’s discuss the party…

Imagine you’re having a party. There are no limits to space or resources. The more people at the party the better. You send out invites and low and behold people RSVP in droves. You invite school friends you haven’t seen in years, co-workers (current and former), family and friends. Each person invited to the party is important to you, or else you would not have sent an invitation. An invitation means, “Hey, let’s catch up. I’d like to keep in touch.”

Your guest list grows like an unintended flower garden. Soon, requests come in to join the party that you didn’t solicit. Sure, why not? This is going to be one heck of a party!

So, the party is about to begin and people start arriving. As people enter there’s some small talk covering the typical “what have you been up to” bases and then each person fades into the crowd to mingle. It’s a diverse crowd. Not the typical party. This crowd includes people you know and people you don’t know, people whom you have a professional working relationship with and people so close you behold them as family.

You walk around and notice some interesting behaviors. In one corner, an old friend is babbling on and on about cats, dogs and horses. Some friends gravitate and appreciate the conversation. You smile and move on. In the kitchen there’s a group sharing family photos and vacation stories. You leave feeling all warm and fuzzy. As you take a sip of your coveted party favor, you round the corner and head into the living room.
Standing on the coffee table is old high school buddy delivering political commentary, sparking aggressive debate. This is concerning. 

Suddenly, other debates break out exposing topics that are well-known social taboos and soon your party has become a platform of dissension. You notice verbal fists rise up against your party-goers. The party becomes a free for all and you’re left standing in a room full of insurgence, fitting for a new age civil uprising.

Wait a minute…I thought this was a party? Why did we come to this party anyway? Did we join to alienate friends or did we connect because of an innate desire to unite with those we care about?

Hmmm…is social media really about connection at all? Perhaps it simply presents an opportunity to be heard. This creates a bit of a conundrum. When people mingle at the intersection of connection and alienation, we segregate. We become a fractured society. Social media has then become anti-social. What a premise. Didn’t this whole thing begin with a party?

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Don't Be A Doormat!



Ah, the doormat advice. I cannot recall how many times I have heard these wise words spoken from trusted allies. I fully acknowledge that their advice is constructive, albeit a little forward. After all, my loved ones are looking out for my well-being. We should all be so blessed. However, I have a slightly different perspective on the word doormat and the meaning associated. You see, I don’t have any doormats in my home. I have welcome mats, and plenty of them.  

Yes, I am a welcome mat. I enjoy people. I welcome people in. And for the most part, people have good intentions. Most often they bring something with them when they visit; something that we both can enjoy. And sometimes it’s just nice to do a good deed and help someone temporarily in need of shelter. This often becomes more of a blessing to me anyway so I still walk away with something wonderful.

Granted occasionally someone wipes their feet on my welcome mat and leaves a mess behind. In which case I dust it off and move on. Hey, a welcome mat is destined to accumulate some grime. It goes with the territory. And yes sometimes I have to decide when it’s time to stop answering the door. That goes with the territory as well.

But here’s my take on it. Everyone that comes through my door teaches me something and I always grow from the experience; good or bad. So, to pull the welcome mat because of a little mud is not worth it. Think of how much I’d miss out on.