I am not a glitter girl. Pink? Nope. When I was a teen I
wore Dr. Martens and ripped jeans. I spent Saturday afternoons writing short
stories, planning my next concert trip, and listening to death metal at a
volume that kept my parents at bay. Although I have been forced to grow up, I still love that rebel voice that these days is only really found in the
music I chose to listen to and the internal desire to place pen to paper and
craft anything that soothes my soul. But I feel I need more. I need more of what gives me joy. I've lost too much of my inner child, my Id.
For those that may not have studied Freud, the Id is the
underdeveloped portion of our psyche that demands instant gratification for
those things that we desire. The Ego and the Superego then develop to help us
deal with reality. Without the Ego and Superego, we would all be adult toddlers
throwing tantrums screaming, “not fair” when life delivers up a bucket of
lemons.
This is where I leave Freud’s theory and relate it to life
balance. I believe that unhappiness in life often occurs when some of us allow
the Ego and the Superego to suffocate the Id. That is when you wake up twenty
years into the future and realize you give 100% of your energy to
responsibility and 0% to what used to make you happy. In contrast, too much Id
can result in you living in your parent’s attic for the next 20 years. It is
all about balance.
Life develops in layers. When we are born we have our immediate
family. As we grow, we develop friends. Before we develop a life in which we
must be responsible, we develop our interests. Some delve into sports. Some
embrace art. Music moves others. We become ourselves when we only have
ourselves to cater to. That is when we figure out what makes us happy. Then
more layers develop. We become spouses, parents, and/or managers. As
responsibility increases, we often let go of the passions that gave us joy. It
is simply a time thing. As time gets short we let go of those things that are
not absolutely necessary. However, life evolves full circle eventually leading
back to the point when we are again alone with ourselves. Then what?
The trick is to strike accord between life’s
responsibilities and the passions that make you, you. We must learn to cater to
our Id while balancing the daily routines of life.
My sister is a shining example of balancing her Id. She has
always been a musician, playing in bands since her 20’s. Twenty years later,
she’s still doing what gives her joy. She is living to her fullest potential
because she allowed her Id equal playing time, balanced with the life’s demands.
She is a wife, a mother, an insurance broker and a musician. She also rides a Harley,
but I digress.
I love to see my sister’s band play and sadly I have not
done so in such a long time. Watching my sister reminds me that I need to cater
more to my Id. My sister is a reflection of the happiness we can have if we
take time out to do those things in life that we want to do. Not just focus on
those things that we must do. Today we call this work/life balance. I call it
embracing the Id.
As I wrap this story, I have the sudden realization that I am
getting better. Instead of getting my house ready for an event I am hosting tomorrow,
I decided to write and I feel good about it. I am choosing to spend time on my
passions. Yet I have another realization that my house is quiet and needs some work. Perhaps my Id
is telling me to turn on some Alice in Chains while my Superego beacons me to break out the vacuum.
